The things I saw #3


More random visual meanderings and scribbles with the pen and the camera. All images made using an Olympus MjuII 35mm compact and Kodak Portra 160 film. Film was developed and scanned at UK Film Lab. Oh, a tip for anyone driving and using the French toll roads – they don’t accept MasterCard Prepaid…

Saturday 17th October, somewhere between Andorra and Chamonix – I’m covered in bites – all over my legs, arms and back. I’d assumed they were mosquito bites from two weeks in southern Spain. I was wrong – the camper van is infested with fleas. I hate fleas – they are not only vicious, but also extremely difficult to get rid of. The constant itching is driving me insane. I get off the motorway and go in search of a pet shop.

As I exit the toll booth, I look in the mirror – I don’t look great. I put my resemblance to Tom Hanks in the second half of ‘Philadelphia’ down to lack of nutrients… I’ve been living off muesli and tinned tomato soup for the last three days. I decide I need to get a lot of liquid and a lot of nutrients into my belly as quickly as possible. This is where things go badly wrong. Never add three effervescent multi-vitamin tablets to a bottle of water, screw the cap on and not expect the laws of chemistry and hydrodynamics to come into action. Within 30 seconds, me and front inside of camper van were dripping with sticky, orangey fluid. The exploding bottle was so loud I thought I’d be shot by a stowaway.

Tomorrow I’ll clean the inside of the van, then I’ll kill the fleas…’

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